On finally finishing a race at the distance I signed up for - GOATZ 2019

Yesterday I started my 5th 50k of the year...or, wait, make that my 7th....

January - Frozen Gnome (DNF, did 3 of 5 loops, 19 miles)
March - Clinton Lake (DNF, 1 of 3 loops, 9 miles)
April - Ozark Foothills (FINISHED!!!  DFL but finished - 11:30:09)
May - Ice Age Trail (FINISHED!!!  NOT DFL! - 8:56:55)
July - Psycho Psummer (DNF, dropped to 20-miler, 2 of 3 loops)
September - Barkley Fall Classic (DNF, approximately 21 miles)
October - GOATZ Trail Run (FINISHED!!!  DFL but finished - 8:30:05)

Initially for 2019 I signed up for the 50k Mashup Series - run 5 of 7 50ks in the Midwest/Plains in a year.
But then I got into the Barkley Fall Classic and I wasn't sure exactly WHAT I'd end up doing...

As it turns out, I'm pretty sure it was all just too much too soon.  And I'm sure for most people, this would be like, DUH!  Uh, yeah.  How did you think you'd manage this, having hardly done any trail running...and only completing ONE marathon...

So, yeah.  Talk about setting oneself up for failure.  And, of course, I did.  Fail, that is.

I am not going to complete the 50k Mashup series, even if I finish the final race in the series in a little less than 2 weeks.  And I *totally* failed at the Barkley Fall Classic.

This doesn't even include 2 other races where I dropped down to a shorter distance than what I signed up for....

So, yeah.  Fun times.

I like to say that I don't care about my DNF's, that I don't care how slow I am, that I just want to be out there and try...no matter what the result.

Well.  The truth is...I may care more than I think .... a few weeks ago when I did the Kearney Trail Run - just a little 5k, that overall I should have been happy about - did well considering, but of course I was one of the last ones...not THE last, though...but...why?  Why am I not faster?  I feel like I've been running long enough that I should have improved some by now...and I almost feel like I'm going backwards...especially compared to last year at this time...my marathon training last year was solid, and I was in much better shape due to more consistent cross-training in the form of TRX.

Anyways, I'm only sharing all of this to set up my thoughts on yesterday - the GOATZ Trail Run.

Where, yes, I finally finished another 50k!!  And, yes, I was, once again DFL (dead fucking last)...but, at least this time I got an award for it! :)

And, I admit, knowing they had this award WAS a motivating factor...I was thinking of dropping down to the 20-miler but then saw the picture of the award posted on Facebook....and I thought, I WANT THAT!  So, I didn't drop.  I would go and attempt my 7th 50k of the year...and if I could finish within the time limit, there'd be a good chance I'd get a really cool award for it!

At packet pickup (after getting lost because I put in the wrong address and ended up in a nice little neighborhood nearby!) I learned there were quite a few first-timers for the 50k.  I also realized I'd forgotten my soft flask (I like to run with Tailwind in the bladder/hydration pack, but an additional bottle with just plain water)....one of the volunteers suggested I check out Sierra Trading, so I went there...found something that I thought would work, but also picked up a few random things, like Cocomel's Coconut Milk Caramels!   I would carry a few of these with me during the race and ended up eating a couple...it was a nice little burst of sugar!

Getting to the hotel was fine, but once there, made the mistake of putting my cooler on top of my suitcase to carry it in.  Let it sit while I pulled out other things from the back of the car...and of course, the cooler and suitcase toppled over...and one of my bottles of cider broke all over!  Ugh.  Glass.  Cider.  Not fun.  Turns out it wasn't the only thing I'd break - the next morning I dropped my face cleanser bottle on the floor and it, too, broke.  WTH?  What was with all the breaking glass?

Anyways, once all settled into the hotel, I ate what I brought, including having a hard cider...played games on my phone until I needed to call it a night....slept reasonably well except for waking up around 2am to loud people in the hallway (what is it with people in hotels?  Do they not realize there are other people there, and that if you are in the hallway, the noise totally carries right into each room???)

The next morning, I got up early, had my smoothie and played games again until I needed to get ready....I ended up being a little later than I wanted, but got there with no problem and plenty of time to witness the sunrise....

Sunrise - heading down to race start from where we were parked.

Sunrise from the race start area

The GOATZ race has Runner Church and I listened and though I can't sit here and repeat exactly what was said...I think it helped set a great mindset for the day, for the race...

Runner Church

Race start/finish area

Me, before the race, beautiful sunrise!

After one more trip to the porta-potties, I lined up and waited....

We started off at 8am...I knew I had to get each loop done in 3 hours or less to make the cutoff.  I knew that the overall pace I'd have to keep was 17:14min/mile...and I knew that I could finish if I didn't give up....

I have to say that this was probably the "easiest" of the 50ks I've attempted this year - though I put "easy" in quotes, because I don't think ANY trail run is EASY.  I really believe running trails is harder than running on pavement, and it works your muscles in totally different ways...but, this did seem a little less "hilly" and definitely had some really runnable sections, and lacked the super-technical terrain of some other races.  The most difficult challenge of the day was the mud - and one section that was muddy AND wet, so once every loop you most likely were going to end up with wet shoes/socks...

But the mud didn't faze me, really.  I'd run in much worse, and pretty sure Ozark Foothills had actual water crossings...the terrain, while runnable, was still uneven and it worked my ankles, legs, knees, and feet...each lap something different would start to hurt!

Even though I brought shoes and socks to change into after each loop...I never did.  Once again, I never once even opened the (too) big backpack that I tend to use as my drop bag (at everything except Barkley, of course!)

I hardly even ate the things I brought, and instead relied on the aid stations - alternating pickles with something carb-y like bread w/peanut butter/jelly or tortillas with peanut butter...I may have grabbed a few potatoes and dipped them in salt, and also some orange slices....

Overall, I was feeling pretty good, and the first loop I was really close to 15-minute miles the whole time, which was good, because I was banking a little time...

I definitely slowed down on the second loop, but still finished it with over 3 hours left...as I came into the start/finish area, I saw a woman that I'd seen earlier and decided that if she was continuing, I would continue, too....at this rate, I just had to keep a 20-minute-mile pace and I'd finish under the cutoff.

I caught up to the woman (Lori) and we talked and kept a good pace until the halfway point aid station.  I wasn't worried about making the cutoff but she took off wanting to make sure she'd finish (it was her first 50k!) . . .so I left the aid station alone, and pretty sure I was last...but confident I'd be finishing, AND, if I kept the pace...would finish with more than just a few minutes to spare!

Those last miles were tough, I'm not going to lie.  My legs, ankles, everything was pretty sore.  But, the pain had changed from the last loop so I just kept going...it was going to be over soon no matter what and the sooner I got to the finish the sooner I could get home and relax!!

The course was very...meandering...in that it would sort of circle back and around and...there were times in those last miles I saw the two women ahead of me...it was actually nice to see people out there at that point..usually I see no one this late in a race...it reminded me I wasn't alone, I wasn't the only one still out there, and eventually, we'd all cross the finish line.

About a mile/half mile from the end, one of the race people (I should know their name) came up and hiked with me until the very last stretch .... I did "run it in" and missed the 8-1/2 hour mark by seconds - finishing with an official time of 8:30:05.

AND I GOT MY DFL AWARD!!!!!!  I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS!  I really *NEEDED* a finish.  This year didn't go as planned, and finishing this race - last year at this race I said I'd be running 3 loops in 2019 and ... I did!

Me with the race director and my DFL award!  I'm actually much happier at this moment than I look!

Me, with award, at the GOATZ sign

Not only did I get the DFL Award, but all finishers received this awesome "medal"!

I know I can do 30+ miles.  I know I can train better and I will get faster.  But, I have to be consistent.  I have to cross-train.  I have to NOT GIVE UP in a race.  I know I've done that this year.  I know I did that at BFC.  So, we'll see if I can keep going, and next year for GOATZ 2020, my goal is to NOT BE LAST! :)

Sunset on the drive home (York, NE)